A Brief History of Bastille day!

General De Gaulle after he was crowned!

What a weekend! Friday was BASTILLE DAY and it was a very important event that happened many years ago in a far off land called FRANCE!

This is a celebration of a real event that happened in history. You may have seen a movie of it in case you aren’t old enough to remember when it happened. (Or unlucky enough not to be able to travel through time to see it happening for yourself!) Anyway, this day celebrates the most famous prison break in all of the history of France and how it ushered in a magical golden age when humans and elves and dwarfs and Halflings all lived together in harmony. In case you aren’t familiar with it, France is a country in Europe. It is a very nice country and I enjoy imagining visiting there often. The biggest problem with France is that they have their own lingo or code for speaking and writing. It is designed to keep people like you and me in the dark about what the French people are saying and thinking.

So a jailbreak. If you want the details a really good movie of it is Papillion. Which tells the story of the time General De Gaulle was kidnapped by the French and sent to jail. While he is in jail he gets really sad, until one day a butterfly comes into his cell with a message: “General,” the butterfly says, “you will be freed from this prison and will become the greatest general in the whole history of France! You will conquer Europe and bring the principals of France: Truth, Justice and the AMERICAN WAY to all mankind!”

The General is, of course, very happy and climbs to the top of the prison and starts ringing the bells so the whole city could hear them and come rushing to his aid! They (the people of the city) get a giant battering ram and ram it and ram it and ram it and ram it against the door of the jail until the door crashes down and all of the people run it. The run up the stairs to the part of the jail where General De Gaulle is staying. They (the people of the city) knock out the guards and take the keys.

Then they free the general and lead him into the sewers of the city, where he sets up his new base. He knows that the bad people who put him in jail are going to be having a big party that night and he decides that he is going to “crash” their party and beat them all up. To protect his identity he decides to wear a mask (just like the one in V, that show about aliens that blow up that building in England).

Right in the middle of their fancy pants party, General De Gaulle - wearing a mask and cape - comes swinging in on a chandelier and jumps onto the stage! He tells them (the people having the party) that he is there to liberate FRANCE from their evil plans. The people at the party all start to sneer and snicker. They grab the general and pull him out onto the street. The people (the ones from the city who like the general) are out there watching what is happening.

The people (from the party) tie the general to a stake (a piece of wood, not a piece of meat) and begin to set a fire! General De Gaulle, so history tells us, sings a song, “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina,” as the people (the ones from the city) look on and cry. Just before he dies, the general says, “Father, why have you given me only life to die for my country?!”

At that signal, the people from the city rush the people from the party and throw them (the people from the party) into the river. The people (the ones from the city) get some water out of the river and use it to put out the fire. A doctor comes running up and uses first aid to save the general, who is made king and eventually leads France into the new golden age I mentioned above. I had no idea about any of this until I learned the history of Bastille Day and now I have taught you too!.

And that is what happened on Bastille Day! With a deep respect for history, I am . . .

ANDY LAM!