Rex and the eggs left me alone in the dark and empty vault for what felt like hours! As I learned later, these miscreants were combing my compound looking for the Orange Egg of Supra Ovo Regno. They ransacked my rec room! They despoiled my den! They plundered my ponds! They scoured my silos! They searched my sun room! They ferreted through my foyer! They looted my loo! They probed my porches! They poked and peered and prodded and scoured and explored and scanned and rifled through every room in my palatial compound; but, of course, they found nothing!
|Rex exploring - and ransacking - my compound!|
The furious Egg King burst again into the empty treasure chamber and began screaming at me. “Where is it!” he thundered, “where is the holy egg relic which you have stolen!”
|Rex Ovum Mundi turns red with rage!|
His beady eyes narrowed. “It’s in the cave, I know it!” He had been looking for a map or a clue to find where the cave was located and how to get inside the cave to reach the treasure he believed he would find. Like you, Rex Ovum Mundi is a regular reader of my blog and so he was aware of two caves that I have explored. (These are the treasure cave he was looking for and the other the one I hid in to escape the EVIL.) He changed tactics and suddenly feigned indifference. “Oh well,” he said nonchalantly, “it’s no big deal if we can’t find the cave or the relic. I could hardly care less.”
I don’t know why, but I was convinced. In fact, I was more than convinced. I was suddenly upset that he wasn’t interested in my caves or my super secret and special treasure. “What just a gosh darn minute,” I said, “that cave is pretty darn cool and interesting!”
“Of course you would say that,” the Egg said, “it’s your cave so you have to say it’s cool and interesting. Meh. I’m starting to grow tired of this whole boring exercise.” Boring? Boring? How could anything remotely associated with me - ANDY LAM! - be boring? Impossible.
“Listen Egg,” I said, “I can show you the cave and you’ll see that it isn’t boring at all. In fact, it’s one of the most exciting caves on this planet! If you see it you’ll be amazed and flabbergasted by its wonders!” I was desperate for Rex Ovum Mundi to realize just how un-boring the cave was! “It’s not far from here,” I said, “it’s really no problem to bring you over.”
Rex Ovum Mundi stroked his chin thoughtfully. “I suppose,” he said, “if it’s not too far we could probably go over there some time for a little peek. I don’t know. I’ll have to sleep on it.”
And with that the Egg King turned off the lights in the treasure room and locked the door. Leaving me alone in the dark and wanting more than anything to convince this egg that my cave was really wonderful!
|A view of my ruined treasure vault!|
Frankly confused by my own behavior and motivation sometimes, I am . . .